Thursday, May 27, 2004
4 week's work!
Monday, May 24, 2004
Here's what I've done in the past month:
Spent two weeks in Thailand
Launched my own fashion label, which is now a week old
Finished a lovely acrylic artwork
Finished reading 4 books
Preparing for my 2 month trip to Europe, which is exactly a week from now
Completing a web project so I can go for my 2 month trip to Europe
It's so stressful i can't think of anything meaningful to write on this blog and damn i need a holiday!
Spent two weeks in Thailand
Launched my own fashion label, which is now a week old
Finished a lovely acrylic artwork
Finished reading 4 books
Preparing for my 2 month trip to Europe, which is exactly a week from now
Completing a web project so I can go for my 2 month trip to Europe
It's so stressful i can't think of anything meaningful to write on this blog and damn i need a holiday!
Monday, May 17, 2004
Love. What is it really? I mentioned it in a previous blog, but the more I thought about it, the more I realise how little I know of it.
What is it beyond sexual attraction, fulfilling of emotional and psychological need or a seeking of a 'high'? What is it beyond the serving of our weak egos? For these are shabby rags compared to what true love can be. And surely to use the degree of happiness or passion to measure love is unreliable, for tough love goes beyond these transient states.
I have no answers, coz I don't know. All I offer are questions and more questions, and hopefully as we examine our 'love' relationships, glimpses of love will come through.
What is it beyond sexual attraction, fulfilling of emotional and psychological need or a seeking of a 'high'? What is it beyond the serving of our weak egos? For these are shabby rags compared to what true love can be. And surely to use the degree of happiness or passion to measure love is unreliable, for tough love goes beyond these transient states.
I have no answers, coz I don't know. All I offer are questions and more questions, and hopefully as we examine our 'love' relationships, glimpses of love will come through.
Sunday, May 02, 2004
I hate being labelled. Everytime I do that, I find myself being squeezed into a mold that I'm not.
"Oh I used to be in IT, and my card said Programmer. But I didn't do a whole lot of programming, so I'm actually doing IT support, and occassionally programming. But that's not what I do now. I was exploring so you can call me an Explorer, but you probably wouldn't understand it the way I meant. Then again, I've actually finished exploring, and know that I want to be a painter, dancer, designer, sales person, starting my own business, and sometime programmer."
Now how do you label that?
I just want to create. Create beauty. Create fun. Create sales. Create opportunities. Create possibilities. Create a colorful playground for myself where everything is play, and I can be anything and everything.
A label is too poor a tool to be used to describe that I want. And I will not be labelled.
"Oh I used to be in IT, and my card said Programmer. But I didn't do a whole lot of programming, so I'm actually doing IT support, and occassionally programming. But that's not what I do now. I was exploring so you can call me an Explorer, but you probably wouldn't understand it the way I meant. Then again, I've actually finished exploring, and know that I want to be a painter, dancer, designer, sales person, starting my own business, and sometime programmer."
Now how do you label that?
I just want to create. Create beauty. Create fun. Create sales. Create opportunities. Create possibilities. Create a colorful playground for myself where everything is play, and I can be anything and everything.
A label is too poor a tool to be used to describe that I want. And I will not be labelled.
Happy Birthday Bloggie :)
It's been an amazing year journeying through this blog. And as I read and re-read the ponderings of my cluttered mind then, I'm amazed. Deeply amazed. Seek and ye shall find, the Word said. I sought but I didn't find. No, I was found. Have you ever thrown a question at the cosmos, not expecting an answer, but an answer came anyway? Nothing but the divine, nothing but God.
For some time, I've thought about re-evaluating my relationship with Jesus. Is he really real? Why should I believe in what other people say? Does it make sense?
And so I tried calling this Jesus, this God by another name. The universe, the great being, the cosmos. But it all felt wrong. You don't call to your lover with 'Hello Mr Lloyd'. No! You call that person with the most intimate term you have. And I knew then that I was in love. It's a relationship so real I can't deny it. So much a part of my life has been shared with this person. He's much much more than an idea, or an emotional crutch, an impersonal god, or a believe system.
Love is as real as it gets. Unreasonable. Senseless.
Funny how the article took a turn, coz it really wasn't what I started out writing. It was in the moment, and this is how it shall be. I worry about people being turned off by this. But this is as much a part of me as all the other stuff on this blog. And I shall not deny 'me' it's voice.
It's been an amazing year journeying through this blog. And as I read and re-read the ponderings of my cluttered mind then, I'm amazed. Deeply amazed. Seek and ye shall find, the Word said. I sought but I didn't find. No, I was found. Have you ever thrown a question at the cosmos, not expecting an answer, but an answer came anyway? Nothing but the divine, nothing but God.
For some time, I've thought about re-evaluating my relationship with Jesus. Is he really real? Why should I believe in what other people say? Does it make sense?
And so I tried calling this Jesus, this God by another name. The universe, the great being, the cosmos. But it all felt wrong. You don't call to your lover with 'Hello Mr Lloyd'. No! You call that person with the most intimate term you have. And I knew then that I was in love. It's a relationship so real I can't deny it. So much a part of my life has been shared with this person. He's much much more than an idea, or an emotional crutch, an impersonal god, or a believe system.
Love is as real as it gets. Unreasonable. Senseless.
Funny how the article took a turn, coz it really wasn't what I started out writing. It was in the moment, and this is how it shall be. I worry about people being turned off by this. But this is as much a part of me as all the other stuff on this blog. And I shall not deny 'me' it's voice.
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