Sunday, October 26, 2003
I live in a rose tinted sanitised world, and I wonder if I'll ever escape it. There were times when I've seen glimpses of a darker reality, but all too soon, I'm transported back to this bacteria free, disinfected clean room.
Technically efficient but without soul. My music, my dance and maybe my life can be described as such. Unlike the jazzmen and dancers of yore whose work contain much character and soul, distinguishing themselves as masters of their craft, the lack of these in mine leaves a deafening silence no matter how much i strive to create.
It's almost painful wondering if i'll ever find my own voice. They say character comes with the experience of life. But how much character can be found along white-washed walls? What life is there in a struggle-free, easy existence?
Mother says everyone will have their own crisis. If it doesn't come in your youth, it will definitely visit later. And I view it with dread and expectancy, for i know in the midst of trial, i will find myself.
Technically efficient but without soul. My music, my dance and maybe my life can be described as such. Unlike the jazzmen and dancers of yore whose work contain much character and soul, distinguishing themselves as masters of their craft, the lack of these in mine leaves a deafening silence no matter how much i strive to create.
It's almost painful wondering if i'll ever find my own voice. They say character comes with the experience of life. But how much character can be found along white-washed walls? What life is there in a struggle-free, easy existence?
Mother says everyone will have their own crisis. If it doesn't come in your youth, it will definitely visit later. And I view it with dread and expectancy, for i know in the midst of trial, i will find myself.
Friday, October 24, 2003
Hugs. It's different getting one from a man and one from a woman. And I wish people do it more often. With more ease.
It's silly that people don't hug coz those of the opposite gender might get the wrong idea. If we hug more and throw in that occasional kiss on the cheek, people won't be running amok having the wrong idea over some stupid tap on the shoulder. Duh.
And this is coming from somebody who once dared to hug her guy pals only after downing a few shots of tequila. So here's my new resolution: Hug more! Unless it risks incurring the wrath of their significant other, or they smell really bad, or...
It's silly that people don't hug coz those of the opposite gender might get the wrong idea. If we hug more and throw in that occasional kiss on the cheek, people won't be running amok having the wrong idea over some stupid tap on the shoulder. Duh.
And this is coming from somebody who once dared to hug her guy pals only after downing a few shots of tequila. So here's my new resolution: Hug more! Unless it risks incurring the wrath of their significant other, or they smell really bad, or...
Thursday, October 09, 2003
Why do people pursue happiness so vehemently? It seems to be the top priority in people's lives, and subsequently, there is so little tolerence for unhappiness. Or pain. Or suffering. Is there nothing beyond that?
I see it in myself when my desires to dance seem to supercede many things, and I struggle to prioritise it rightly and responsibly. I see myself perpetuate this same idea when I tell friends that things are alright, as long as they're happy.
Something's wrong here.
How can a person's dream of dancing be more important than relieving the plight of the poor and homeless? Can Louise Armstrong ever compare with Mother Theresa?
Perhaps I've been unfair to put the two together, yet it is precisely the two that I'm constantly trying to reconcile. Art, music, dance, drama: Beautiful and captivating. Humanitarian and social work, the gospel: Gripping and life-changing. Both have reached deep into my soul and taken my heart. Oh! What am I to do?
I can't see it now, but it would be a most marvellous thing if both could go hand in hand in my life.
I see it in myself when my desires to dance seem to supercede many things, and I struggle to prioritise it rightly and responsibly. I see myself perpetuate this same idea when I tell friends that things are alright, as long as they're happy.
Something's wrong here.
How can a person's dream of dancing be more important than relieving the plight of the poor and homeless? Can Louise Armstrong ever compare with Mother Theresa?
Perhaps I've been unfair to put the two together, yet it is precisely the two that I'm constantly trying to reconcile. Art, music, dance, drama: Beautiful and captivating. Humanitarian and social work, the gospel: Gripping and life-changing. Both have reached deep into my soul and taken my heart. Oh! What am I to do?
I can't see it now, but it would be a most marvellous thing if both could go hand in hand in my life.
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